Remembering

Today I had to take an FMLA day at work as I was dizzy and the headaches came and went today. Sometimes I had lack of use in both arms. But there were small bursts of good times throughout the day that I was able to do one load of laundry and wash the dishes. I mostly read today and took a nap and remembered. I was thinking back to some of my childhood times. I also spent sometime daydreaming and thinking about the garden for next year and what I would plant and about winter for this year and of course about how we were going to pay all of these wonderful doc bills.....especially if I had to take very many of these FMLA no pay days.

But I wanted to share with you guys a few of these memories I thought of today. One of these was wash days. I can barely remember as a child not having a washing machine (well not like we have now a days anyway). We lived with my mamaw, my mom and I did. One day a week was wash day and my aunt would come by and do her wash on that day too...she didn't have a washing machine either. If I am not mistaken it was Saturday that was wash day. So Mamaw, Mom, and Aunt Shelia would do washing on Saturday. Sherri and I would be there to but we were just kids and we would help some but we most would just fetch this and fetch that for the grown ups. Mamaw would get the big wringer washer and it would be in the kitchen of the pink house on church street. There was a big washer tub that held the soap and that is where the dirty clothes went and they were scrubbed clean there and then they were picked up one by one and put through the wringer and then dropped into the rinse bucket and then put through the wringer again and then out to the line they went. Now those were some clean clothes. But I swear those clothes could stand up on their own!

Another memory I have is winter time at mamaws. We were not a family with much money back then but we always made do. We would usually heat one or two rooms of the house and the rest of the house was sealed off with blankets that hung on the door frames. They were hung up by thumb tacks. I still practice this at my house by sealing off the front door every winter with a big wool blanket....I secure it with thumb tacks. Everyone knows to use the back door. If you don't know then you aren't someone I want to visit me anyway :-) But there is a sign up that says to come to the back door. Our front door is old and it would take a lot of money to replace it and its side lights and there are many other things that need our attention right now so it waits...and waits...and waits. But back to mamaws house in the winter, she heated with an old oil furnace so it is a wonder we didn't all die of carbon monoxide poisoning. But we survived.

At the age of about 7 I guess, my mother married a man with a really good job and over time our financial situation improved with the occasional layoff here and there. But the best times of my childhood were back at mamaws when we were poor and happy.

I also remember as a child at my fraternal mamaws when it would rain or storm we would go out to their large front porch (they were a little more well off so to say) we would sit and watch the rain. It was all so peaceful and I felt so safe. I could sit and listen to the rain hit the roof and see mamaw and papaw in their rocking chairs and all the aunts and uncles sitting around talking and telling stories. Those were the good old days. I spend my weekends there with my father. Since my mom and dad were divorced I lived a double life, one with one type of family and one with another. On the weekends I would welcome the rain, during the week the rain would make me cringe and cry. During the week if it rained it meant that my step father would be "rained out" from his job and he would be home when I got home from school. I would be a nervous wreck all the way home and when I got off the bus I would wish for anything to come and take me away rather than to have to walk through the door of my home to face him. But I learned ways to deal with him and shut him and the world away during the week. Rain during the week was terrible. It was awful. But I grew up into who I am and he has no control over me now. He did then and for awhile into my adulthood I let him continue to control me and make me think I was less than who I am but once I realized that he wasn't worth it I quickly let go and let God. I can now sit ANY DAY OF THE WEEK and let the rain wash over me and feel at peace and know that God is in control and that man has no dominion over me anymore! I am free in the name of JESUS! :-)