I know I hat that word too, Discipline. It sounds so mean doesn't it? But it is a necessary part of being a good mother. If you truly love your children you will not deny them a disciplined life.
Now I will be the first to tell you that I am not a spanking mom. Now that doesn't mean that I never have but I can tell you that the spankings from mom in the house have been very few and far between.
It is not that I believe it is wrong, on the contrary. I believe that spankings on the bottom, and I stress on the bottom, are perfectly fine and I believe that God intended corporal punishment to be used to guide children. HOWEVER I have seen far too many times when parents, even "good" christian parents, have taken this way too far.
I have a heart for children. If I hear a child cry, I cry. It doesn't matter if it is my own or some stranger's child at wal-mart....if they are crying, truly crying (not the temper tantrum I want that cry), the you will look at me and see tears well up in these green eyes of mine. I can't stand to see a child hurting. So you can only imagine what happens when I do have to spank my children....it is just one big snot fest!
Okay back to the original post at hand...discipline. There are some things that I believe are not to be tolerated by children and I have listed them below.
1. Disrespective of adults and siblings. I will not allow my child to disrespect me or another adult. I also will not allow them to disrespect one of my children. I explain to the youngest when she hits the oldest that I do not allow anyone to hit one of my children and she is no exception. My oldest girl has a bit of a mouth on her and she is not afraid to use it. We have more discipline conversations over backtalking than anything else. More than once she has had a tiny bit of dishwashing liquid put on the tip of her tongue. She is turning ten in just a few days so I find it very disrespectful to her to spank however if things get out of hand and nothing else works then yes....I do spank (but not very hard :-) )
2. Disrespectful of God's house. I will not tolerate one of my children to be up and running around church. I see that so many times when a child will go to the bathroom twenty times just during song service. My children will sit on the pew and if the pastor is speaking they better be listening. I teach children's church so my children only sit in service on Sundays for about twenty minutes. During that time they need to be seated and listening or on their knees praying or standing and singing. On Wednesday nights they have to sit in big people church for the whole service and that can get interesting but even when it is an hour and a half service they are required to be respectful.
3. Disrespectful of our home. I will not tolerate jumping on couches, running in the house, tearing up furniture, etc. Their father and I work too hard for everything that we have for them to be disrespectful and to tear it up. They are to respect also what is not theirs. I have not been one that ever put my "pretties" (not that I have many) away because there are children in the house. They were taught from the beginning that there are some things that they are not allowed to touch.
4. Not listening. This is my big thing. When I am speaking you better be listening.I am not one that will run off at the mouth so if I have words coming out my children better be looking at me and listening. This will get them in trouble faster than anything.
So how do I discipline. Well I give a warning. I make sure my child is looking directly at me. I say something like "You know we do not allow jumping on the couch. I want you to stop right now." If they do not then I will count. If I get to three (which rarely happens) they are sent to time out. I usually base time out one minute for every year of their age. When they come out of time out I ask them why they were there and make sure they understand. Usually I never have to go beyond this. However there are some instances where I have used corporal punishment and when Ido I first talk to the child and make sure that they understand what is going on. I tell them that I am going to have to spank them and I tell them how many they are going to get. When I finish the spanking I love on them, a lot.
It is very important to make sure that your child knows why they are being punished and it is most important that you love on them afterwards.
It is good to post rules in your home so they know what is expected of them. You can even post what will happen if they break certain rules. If you are a spanker then you could post how many spanks go with each punishment. Just remember never spank when you are angry, always spank on the bottom...nowhere else, and always follow up with lots and lots of love!
Just as important as discipline is rewards are also as important. When your child is doing well make sure you give him lots of praise and reward him for a job well done. Just like we don't just want to know when we do something wrong....neither do our children.
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